iceemoon:

"i’m 10% german, 14% danish, 15% norwegian, 7% …"

image

(via mike-the-misanthrope)

horror movie opening scene
white girl: i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.
white boy: come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.
white girl: you're just trying to scare me.
white boy: lmao
white girl: babe what that??
white boy: i'll go investigate
white girl: zack!!!
white boy: ha ha just kidding!
white girl: asshole!
white boy: im just playin babe
white girl: that wasnt funny but ur still cute
white boy: i'll go investigate
white girl: zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!
white girl: ahhh!!
white girl: ahhh!!!
opening title slashes across screen: BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D

wheatdealer:

*uses panorama to take dick pic*

(via oxygenesis)

I’m so happy

bittersweetthoughtsofinsantity:

This brought out the lesbian in us all

jesusinc:

I love sunglasses, am I looking at that tree? Am I staring at your dick? Who knows!

(via halfbloodmagic)

theyreoutofcontrol:

Interviewer: “so where do you see yourself in five years?”
Me: “I’m shaking hands with Dumbledore I’ve won the house cup”

(via halfbloodmagic)

burgrs:

I failed my final because a GIRL sitting next to me was wearing a TANK TOP ad i saw her sholders and got distracted all the blood in my brain went to my huge Dong

(via sodapope)

aquariantides:

adulthood is just an endless stream of phone calls you don’t want to make but have to

(via sodapope)